mee krob

There's something hot about relationships in the work place.

Clare called me today. He sounded like shit. Must have been really tired. Going to an art gallery and seeing him looking like shit. Well, I probably should have recommended he just go him and sleep. I decided not to go, finish all my problem sets for tomorrow and next week, so that my weekend would be entirely free instead. That's assuming that we will hang out this weekend. We'll see. Drab still owes me that dinner and walk in the park.

My new obsession is Oliver Sacks. Jewish, British, and a neurologist. So hot.

It never really caught on until today, but the term ball-and-stick model used in chemistry is very dirty.

I wish I could value friendship the way I used to as a child. Back in second grade, this one kid in elementary school invited me to his birthday party. I went- the only thing I could remember about it involved a lot of obstacle courses because he was obsessed with that one show on nickelodeon- Double Dare? Legends of the Hidden Temple?
The only thing now that sticks out in my mind is this wooden carving in his computer room that belonged to his dad, a psychiatrist. It might not have been a representation of Shakespears, but that was what I had always believed it to be. Anyway, we formed a bond, but through what common interest? Kids at that age only care about a few things: games, games, games.
I used to eat at his place quite often, and his family would hold hands at the table to say prayer before we ate. This always weirded me out because I would always lower my head while prayer was said, even though I don't believe in the whole god thing. This trend, eating at friend's houses, was quite frequent- I would usually show up at least every week, often eating more than the family combined. Looking back on it, that was really quite intrusive of me, but if their own kids won't appreciate their parents' cooking, I might as well should, right?
He would also invite me to have sleepovers with him, also weird for me because growing up Asian, your parents usually don't allow for this sort of thing where you piggyback off other people, having to owe them later. My parents would never allow other families/friends to give anything to me without repaying them back, whether it be in meals or presents. I guess it was their way of always trying to stay "out of debt" with people.
My best friend at the time would also freak me out because he would show me pamphlets/manuals that his father gave him to teach him about the human body, that everything is natural and beautiful or whatever. He was always quick to point out the penises and vaginas and the detailed illustrations that served as examples of variety in the world. Years later in college, he came out of the closet, which makes this childhood story somewhat awkward for me to this day. That's my life, never dull with the awkward moments.
It was great until about middle school, I suppose the time when kids try to assert themselves in the social food chain. Some people would crack and conform, others would falter and do whatever it took to be accepted into that oh-so glorified niche of the popular group. My best friend was stricken with this illness. He would make fun of me whenever that crowd loomed around us. His jokes being meaner aside, his visits decreased, except at those critical moments in life when homework was due.
There's only one thing someone can do to survive: adapt. I became more selective about friendships, particularly for those that would last unconditionally.

Maybe this was why I chose not to open up to people immediately. You can't befriend someone if you don't offer a piece of yourself in return.