devil's advocate

Yesterday I was walking past a homeless guy- or at least I thought he was homeless- and he started throwing up next to me.

I was waiting on the opposite side of the street for the bus to arrive, and he just kept throwing up. It was funny for a while until he cried out,"God help me!" After that it was just sad. Most of the pedestrians on the street approaching the homeless guys crossed the street again so that they wouldn't have to deal with them. Now were they avoiding them out of pity, fear, or disgust?

40% of college students drop out of the sciences because of the low quality of teaching in their science classes. Well, that's what my Daewoo read from a magazine just now.

Another year, another singles' awareness day. Oddly enough, the acronym for that is S.A.D. Hmm.

Somehow, things always seem to work themselves out in lab... even though I completely screwed up at the last minute last year, all my RNA seems fine? That's too good to be true. Also got to watch preserved baby mice get their brains dissected.

Goals this year in lab: come up with a good project, and come up with either a novel technique or an improvement upon a previous one.

Maybe I should start exercising again as well...


Gramma frying lots of tofu.


Fish!

牛 year

Chicken!


Shark fin!


Bamboo?


Dried oysters!

More food to come.

cannula

Haha HELLO Sophorific! Happy New Year as well. Mmm I did enjoy the excess use of ingredients, and an Asian casserole... interesting concept. Black rice??? Never had before.

Slutface Nants wasting my text messages! Just to say hi. She should know by now I only tolerate practical and/or interesting messages.

Sometimes I try to utilize my friends who are in grad school or doing research, e.g., Janey, except when I do, I'm not sure why I asked in the first place because I don't think I've learned anything from their lesson.

Nilk and I have the oddest conversations on gchat while we're both in lab- about him being a creepy grad student now, and Janey's underwear.

I luuuuuurv my lab. There. I said it. I should probably be productive. Adios.

paronomasia

My cousin and I were drawing/coloring. She's the one destroying my creations.


New Year's cake? 年糕。

Classes started today. Already missed the first class, and annoyed by the students in the second class, many of whom are retaking the course because they made a C the first time.

Why are they making another Street Fighter movie? But this time it's about Chun-Li, and guess who's playing her. Kristin Kreuk?!

eliphalet oram lyte

Back from LA... will post pictures later.

Happy Chinese New Year, everyone. (Although, I'm not sure if it starts today or tomorrow... my aunt was babbling on about how it technically starts tomorrow.) My grandma was so furious at my cousin because he wasn't able to get roast pork at the butcher's.

Back in lab... rejecting someone's manuscript for publication. I usually feel good about things like this, saying no to people, rejecting their attempts to seek my approval, but getting published determines these people's careers. Being in control of my own fate is hard enough as it is- I do not need to be an influence over other people's careers.

Dream last night involved my brother and me planning to live together in the Bay Area, and I had liver spots on my right forearm, which grossed me out.

Really nice day outside today. Another good compromise.

Yesterday on the BART, I was stuck sitting behind this Asian guy and a white guy. The white guy had blonde hair and blue eyes, the Asian guy was semi-attractive. They were arguing with each other, kind of like me and Drab. It was very spooky- the Asian even directly stated to the white guy that he was getting fat. "Your face is getting rounder." etc. I almost burst out laughing because it reminds me of the way I treat Drab. And then the white guy started kissing the Asian guy...

grifter

SEK. 10 million. Around 1.5M USD. For winning the Nobel Prize.

Chatting it up with the new postdoc in my lab. My nicknames for him: toss up between Daewoo and Dairy/Daily. Learning more about his life, journey to finally becoming a postdoc in our lab.

So I should be reading scientific papers every day in lab, to keep up with current trends as well as to build up a sound knowledge base, possibly coming up with some innovative projects. Instead, I read wiki pages about Baskin-Robbins and Dunkin Donuts.

Also staring at pictures of food on Yelp, and all I can think about is that I wish I had eaten those three remaining pieces of fried chicken from the Korean restaurant. Regrets.

Wilde-ism of the day: "A man can be happy with any woman, as long as he does not love her."

My mom called me an hour ago; she repeated her lecture 5 times. She isn't the devil's spawn. She the devil incarnate. Lucifer. My nickname for her: Lisafer.

catch as catch can

Have you ever tried writing an email to someone, only to have it sent to the person that you're talking about in the email?

The only notable moment I remember is from Nilk, where he sent out some letter of complaint, only to have it carbon copied to Dr. Caprette. Hilarious, when you're not the one making the mistake.

It hasn't even been a week, and I'm already talking about Drab with my PI. Except, my PI doesn't even remotely remember who Drab is, even though they've crossed paths a few times during his lab rotations. But he does remember Jan Brady and Dora the Explorer. Car ride this time with my PI: semi-awkward. Not sure why I accept every time he offers. My head's telling me no... wait a second, this sounds like a prelude to one of those sex songs by R. Kelly, doesn't it?

Reading the White House website on Presidential biographies- Bush has a dog named Miss Beazley?? Greatest dog name. Ever. And then I read on about how he got a history degree from Yale and an MBA from Harvard.

...

Anyhow, new obsession: reading up on biographies of U.S. Presidents. Where will this new information go in my brain? Probably categorized under trivia. Trivial information.

mclovin

Finished watching SuperBad. Fell asleep during the middle part of it, so essentially I only watched the first and last 15 minutes of the movie. What do I think of this one... it's making me crave alcohol and pizza bagels, that's for sure. But then the two were in their sleeping bags, and were just mclovin all over each other, throwing around that L word like confetti on new year's. Gross.

Woke up at 8 this morning, thought I would be late for work. Oh yeah, I finally told Drab about my PI and where I researched. Anyways, it was unusually quiet/empty on the first floor of the hospital, and not all the lights were turned on in the hallways. I was just thinking, oh great, I came in on a holiday again, didn't I?

Booked a ticket to LA for CNY at the last minute, so I guess I'll be staying there for what will amount to 2 full days.


1 of 3 Xmas cards I received last year. This one's from Nants! So people choose what type of card they send to a person, and based off that you can get a read of their personality. What vibe am I getting from this picture? That Nants is cuckoo, but everybody already knows that.


This one is from my PI. The revelation here is that my PI is cornier than I thought (we use the mouse model to study the nervous system). Haha what a nerd. Ugh, maybe Janey is right about me being smitten with my PI.

laura roslin

Decided to continue my email correspondence with Lizbian. In a pen-pal sort of way.

Also decided to watch the 1st episode of the 4th (and final?) season of Battlestar Galactica. After I shower.

45 minutes of my life. Gone. I can never take back.

What did I think about BSG... well, at first, I was grossed out by the President and that Dualla lady making out, but the show quickly redeemed itself afterwards when she decided to shoot herself. THANK YOU, writers of the show, for ending any more possible PDA between those 2 characters.

Then I saw Adama's father, and realized that he was Abraham from Selena the movie! No problems with that guy. He was also in a movie about racial struggle and math... Stand and Deliver? Interesting movie. What scene was it when I first saw him... him drinking and fiddling with a gun with some dude wearing an eye patch.

And Cylons- designed to be able to feel emotions and have intimate relations? Ugh, such an obvious design flaw if someone were trying to create the next evolved form of human.

First show of BSG watched outside the suite. Not impressed. Not one bit. Maybe I just need to catch up on the lore, but it's probably as convoluted as reading the story to any RPG on wiki.

Blegh. I'm going to review a paper.

刊登

OK FINALLY, time for some retro/introspection. Whatever.

Friday night: dinner with Drab and Clare.

Clare and I seem to be tinkering with our interests still, somewhat on the slow track, figuring out what to do with our lives. It seems we've both realized our interests, it seems we both like to mooch off our parents. My mom keeps telling me that I'll have to take care of her when she's older, because she's taken care of me for so long. She even tries to scare me by saying she'll move back in with me when I buy a house. It's a shame she doesn't know that home ownership isn't a future goal of mine, and even if I did purchase a house, I would sooner build a cottage in the backyard and have her reside there than to move back in with me. Clare's dressing habits- nothing out of the ordinary, but nothing exaggerated. None of that quirky, attention-getting business. I didn't even notice the skinny jeans- maybe it was just too dark that night.

Drab... a bit giddy to see Clare and me, what with all that disgusting hugging business. He should know better than to hug me- I rarely hug back in response. It ended up being this awkward, one-sided embrace, where he had his arms around me, and my arms were stuck between my chest and his. That was probably my natural reflex to keep Drab from getting even closer to me. That's me, I put up barriers. His eyes are blue as ever, but he had this weird fuzz around his mouth/chin. I'm guessing it's due to not having shaven in the past few days. Where do we find ourselves... both on the research track, in the same subject (neuroscience/development), with new PI's, at the same school in the same city, opposite sides of town, time completely spent in lab. Why did it turn out this way? It could be perceived as me following in his footsteps, which is disgusting for me to think about as it is to write it. Even if we've been living in the same city, it's been months since we last saw each other. And then when the three of us were about to part, Drab wanted to touch hands. Ugh, gross. He chooses to display his affections outwardly; I choose to keep my emotions under control, not spewing it around like an opened soda can that was previously shaken.

Why is it that cheery people gravitate around dark and twisted me? Drab's family wears matching pajamas in their photos while I just don't take any pictures at all of me with my family.

And what about my current bonds? With my PI, with my lab mates. I've found out much more about them in the past 4 months than I have about Drab/Clare in the past 2 years in the same city. Maybe it's because they've lived longer. Maybe it's because I've learned all that there is learn about old friends, but I find the latter hard to believe. It's an odd feeling, similar to a sense of betrayal. Usually I'm the one spouting off about maintaining old, close friendships, but I find myself becoming "attached" to the people in my lab. Even the people in the labs down the hallway in both directions.

Hmm. If Clare had declined the dinner invitation, that would have made it easier to isolate myself even more from Rice people. If Drab had declined Clare's invite to our dinner, it would have been easier to just forget his birthday and not bother thinking up a birthday card or present for him next month. For me, not seeing people for a long time makes me miss them less. It's the meeting them again that's the problem...

HMM, rereading this post that was typed up last night. Doesn't really make sense, but I guess I'll post it anyway. Could have been written/thought-out/planned better.

ennuye

I had forgotten to throw out my juice before the break, and this is what I find skimming the surface. What do you think it is? I'm so lazy, it's still sitting in my refrigerator.


On telephone wires. It should remind me of an old, early 90s movie, but all that comes to mind is Harry Potter 4. I think it was the crazy girl, Looney or Luna, looking for something of hers that was missing.


My mom felt like burning candles, so she stuck it on one of our dining dishes. Asian mothers...


The reading selection at the dentist's office in Texas. Slim pickings.


The beginning of my photo series parodying Janey's. The only thing that comes to mind when seeing her recent pictures are- oh, she's just taking pictures of herself and/or her bf. I think she's ceased that now, but I will continue with mine. She was semi-naked in hers, so I will be semi-naked in mine. This one involves me wearing dress socks. That's right. It's because all my other socks have holes in them except for these. Tried going to the malls downtown to find decent, but different pairs besides black and white. Failed. Guess I could try the Haight/hipster area tomorrow.

amos

On the way to Dallas to drop off my brother.


View from the back of the truck.


Probably one of the more embarrassing teas to bring to the checkout counter.




Sometimes I look at families and wonder why are they so happy? Ahh... it's probably because of that essence of chicken drink.


What do artists prefer to drink when they need that extra boost of inspiration? Essence of chicken drink, of course.

septuagint

Time for retrospection. And picters.


Confusing sign. Why use the stairs when there's a fire following you?


Written on one of the buses.


The problem with posting pictures taken from before break is trying to remember why you took them in the first place.


This is what I had to look forward to while in SF. If only it stayed like this when I returned... now all I'm dealing with is sun and cheer. Oh, and some crazy black guy singing a terrible rendition of "As long as you love me" by the Backstreet Boys on the Muni today.

Tannhäuser

Today was the first day where the car ride with my PI wasn't completely awkward.

Today was the first day that I dined with Clare. Well, I would have dined with just Clare, except he invited Drab along.

How was it... after not seeing each other for months. Clare had the decency not to hug me when he saw me. Drab, on the other hand, was ALL touchy-feely. Blegh, physical intimacy! He knows very well that I shun all forms of physical contact. And then trying to touch hands at the end of the night. And this walking towards me and then hugging me? Happened in a previous dream- #21. UGH!

For the most part, it was... tolerable. The food was nostalgic; I don't know if it's my favorite kind of fried chicken, but the soup appealed to me tonight. It was also on the house- another bonus. Something about the soft texture of the tofu, it's subtle taste mixed with the spicy soup. Jap chae- oilier than what I'm used to. Bulgolgi- flavor was sealed in the meat, but could have been warmer.

Now for the observations. Clare's appearance: agreeable. Drab's hair: agreeable. I was in an agreeable mood tonight.

And now I sleep, I am le tired.

That Picture of Dorian Gray book is just not doing it for me anymore- all these disgusting details with the love triangles. If it were just Lord Henry talking the whole time, I'd be amused. Sadly, that is not the case.

Skip to my loo. Night.

le bouquin

Couple of dreams last night.

The first one involved me coming up with a great recipe for either a hamburger or taco salad. My secret ingredient was to add tiny slices of fried potato, kind of like hash browns, into either the meat or as a topping, to make the meal crispier.

A later dream that caused me to finally wake up had me in someone's residence, with some friends back from high school. We were chasing butterflies outside and catching up on lost time. Back inside, I overheard someone gossiping in Cantonese that my brother was going to propose to his ex-girlfriend. My initial thought was,"What the hell?!" and I woke up.

Hmm, nobody seems to be in lab... yet it's already 9:15. They must be over at the other campus doing whatever Grand Rounds is on Thursdays.

Time for more Wilde-isms!

"Women were better suited to bear sorrow than men. They lived on in their emotions. They only thought of their emotions. When they took lovers, it was merely to have some one with whom they could have scenes."

"I never approve, or disapprove, of anything now. It is an absurd attitude to take toward life."

"The real drawback to marriage is that it makes one unselfish. And unselfish people are colorless. They lack individuality. Still, there are certain temperaments that marriage makes more complex. They retain their egotism, and add to it many other egos. They are forced to have more than one life. They become more highly organized, and to be highly organized is, I should fancy, the object of man's existence."

"The reason we all like to think so well of others is that we are all afraid for ourselves. The basis of optimism is sheer terror."

"Women are wonderfully practical, much more practical than we are."

"Women inspire us with the desire to do masterpieces, and always prevent us from carrying them out."

"A cigarette is the perfect type of a perfect pleasure. It is exquisite, and it leaves one unsatisfied. What more can one want?"

Hmm, I wonder if it's possible to quote too much from a book.

baba ghanoush

Why is my cousin befriending all my girl Asian friends on facebook? Ohhhh, so creepy....

My samples are too dilute... some of my samples are contaminated...

Stomach has been hurting every day- it could be either the milk+cereal every morning or the orange juice at night.

Aunt replaced the couches in grampa's house with sofa beds. She says it's time for change. Change...

May fly down to LA for Chinese New Year. It is our year. bYear of the ox. So why don't I feel so blessed?

It must be the orange juice.

My PI just kept talking and talking today, but I just kept staring at his dry skin on his forearms and how his shoes were too big for his feet. He looked like a tiny kid sitting on a really large spinning chair!

Note to self and others: NEVER sell your textbooks online!

"I can't even fake the death of a stripper." ~Arrested Development

journal club

They blocked Twitter at lab because it's a "blog" type site, except they can't even manage to block Blogger, whose name explicitly says BLOG. Ugh.

I lurrrrrve my lab. My PI, my lab manager, and the fat Korean post doc whose name I'll try to learn by tomorrow. Ohhhhh!!!

So if white people wanted to celebrate a white history month... lost my train of thought with this one.

And now, time for some of my favorite Oscar-Wilde-isms.

"i never talk during music- at least, during good music. if one hears bad music, it is one's duty to drown it in conversation." This is what I feel when people try to talk over the music in bars- not because it's loud, but because it's bad.

"never marry at all... men marry b/c they are tired; women marry b/c they are curious; both are disappointed."

"when one is in love, one always begins by deceiving one's self, and one always ends up deceiving others. that is what the world calls a romance."

MMMM cynicism.

In other news I have decided to come out of my nest and be a social bird, i.e., have dinner/chat with Clare. When we're having it, I don't know, but I gave him a two-week window, so he can't accuse me of not reaching out and trying to be "friendly."

ned devine

$1.88 per box of Quaker Oatmeal Squares! My day is made.

I guess I'll follow Janey's advice and keep culturing the mold sitting atop the surface of my blue/cranberry concoction.

Be sure to stay tuned to my parody of Janey's current photo series, the one where she just keeps taking pictures of herself.

Why must they run out of Muni passes in the middle of the month?!

Finally going back to lab tomorrow. Mixed feelings. Premonition that there's just bad news waiting for me. And a whole lot of immuno slides to quantify.

This random Asian girl is chatting with me on QQ. She somehow lives in SF and wants to befriend me? She's been trying to look at pictures of me, but I haven't posted any online for her to see. AHHH she's asking me to send her a picture. No thanks!

zoo is sad, people are cruel

Decided to try listening to some Hong Kong/Chinese Indie pop bands. So I've become Asiafied again after hanging out with my cousins.

DEAR LORD SHOOT ME NOW. It's the exact same stuff that Drab or Clare would bother listening to, if either of them were Asian.

The Ginger Ale is what ailed me. It turned flat while I was gone, but I decided to try it. Still feeling nauseous after drinking it.

The dentist recommended that I get braces. I'm going to be old, with braces, in med school. Reminds me of that Sex and the City episode where Miranda gets some caviar, or whatever black crap that food was, stuck in her teeth. Damn that show!

life on mars

Is there really a way to be completely impartial to all decisions/opinions?

Blegh, don't talk to me about marriage! I already know people from high school who have made that crazy leap, even popped out 2 kids by now. Gross!

What to think about today... the strings of fate. Coincidence, free will. Just how much of what we do is dependent upon our own choices?

Conflicts of interest. I allowed my present friends, i.e., one of my lab mates, intermingle with one of my past friends, i.e., Dr. Fondles. Painting different perceptions of me, different standards to uphold.

I woke up around noon, and haven't done anything today- shower, brush teeth, get dressed. I should probably do that right about now.

Adieu. Guess it's better to stock up my fridge first before stuffing my closet with socks.

alan alexander milne

Doing it again- watching entire seasons of shows in a day. Waking up at 3 PM. Staying inside my domicile.

So out of touch with the world. Didn't know about anything going on until my flight was delayed at the airport yesterday, and I was stuck watching CNN at DFW. Something about a trial of the century with this Casey Anthony character? And then John Travolta's son dying? And an even larger bailout package?

Season 3 of Arrested Development. Finally got to watch MRF Rita, but I had always imagined her saying,"Let's have sexual relations," in the same manner that Clare had always quoted the show. I should remember that Clare's portrayal of any women will always be in that high shrilly voice.

Another mistake I made was eating some spaghetti I had left over from before I left the City. Yeah, stomach didn't take that very well.

I guess since there's not much to do now, I'll go spend some of my xmas money at the mall tomorrow? Get some new pairs of socks, I suppose.

There were ants in my trash can, ants in the bathroom, ants in the kitchen! My mom continues to haunt me across 2 time zones.

Confession: found myself responsible for spreading gossip. Although, is it gossip if you're spreading news from someone else who talked directly to the source? Doesn't gossip usually just involve talking about the person without the person knowing?

Grosvenor

New Year's Resolutions...

Try to keep up with the ones I made last year.

Started reading 2 books while on the plane during my flight back from Texas: The Picture of Dorian Gray, and Aesop's Fables.

Aesop started becoming redundant after a while, and there were a lot of homosexual undertones even in the first 20 pages of Oscar Wilde's book. If there were less sex/feelings in that book, it would have been so much better. Good social commentary otherwise.

Some good quotes from the novel:
"...the more insincere the man is, the more purely intellectual will the idea be, as in that case it will not be colored by either his wants, his desires, or his prejudices."

"It is only the intellectually lost who ever argue."

"...the great events of the world take place in the brain."