lamarckism

Ohhhh I've already gotten tired of doughnuts after the 2nd one. 10 more to go... no more compulsive spending.

Watching the laundry spin around in the dryer can be a beautiful view. Unless you're reminded of that story where the toddler closed the door on his sister and turned on the washing machine, killing the poor girl inside.

Actually finished the 200 practice problems I'm supposed to be doing everyday. So what do I think of when waiting for the dryer to finish? The Wizard of Oz. That song about being off to see the wizard got stuck in my head, which then led me to thinking about that person hanging himself in the woods along the yellow brick road. But now they're saying that it's a wild crane???

Past midnight. Happy Bday, Sophbox.

par hasard

I've been dreaming about lab a few times in the past couple of weeks, but last night I had a dream about Kaiser.

We were walking around in some station (bus?), and we approached the vendor to get tickets for the ride. I started ordering two tickets for the both of us, but the surprising thing was that Kaiser didn't do her typical shoving of money into my face. She actually let me pay for her this time, even though the ticket was pretty cheap. And then she left me, walking by herself to board the train after I handed her the ticket.

Do Oregonians listen to country music?

Missing 11 of 47 questions... sigh.

Trying to do 200 practice problems tonight before my 1st practice MCAT tomorrow morning. Then... I should probably get a haircut. I'm mulleting.

dibs

Even within my lab group of friends, I feel as though people keep telling me secrets, as if they expect me not to spill it to anyone. Makes me wonder if people have too must trust in me.

On the west coast, graduates gravitate towards the smaller, start-up labs with the young investigators and their fresh innovative perspective. On the east coast, they swing the other way, towards the older, established PI's who constantly churn out papers in Science, Nature, and/or Cell.

Should have purchased the tickets when they were under $100. Guess I'm not flying out to LA for a weekend celebration. Alone again, naturally.

Does anyone know a quick and easy way to learn biostatistics/data mining???

I was walking on the ground floor of the hospital, leaving lab then, when this doctor lady in gray scrubs starts shouting at me,"What does that say on your jacket???" I was wearing that old FCUK jacket I found at Buffalo Exchange a few years ago, and I told her that it was a European brand. She was surprised that someone never stopped me in the hospital to make me take it off.

ascending and descending

Happy Birthday Kaiser.

Studying/peer-reviewing. Buh-bye.

------

It feels SO awkward being in my lab with the lights turned off, me at my desk, and the attractive German postdoc working the fluorescence microscope on the other side of lab. Oh, and Ace of Base is playing in the background. AWK.

My microarray data has arrive! AHHHH!!!! My head is going to explode, from the excitement of that news, and the mcat. Ka-boom.

ergonomics

Need to read research articles more critically, come up with my own interpretations of the data and see if it matches with those of the authors.

Also need a haircut. I can feel my hair beginning to party in the back.

Why I receive news of people getting fat in medical school, I don't know. Although it doesn't come as much of a surprise. FruitRoops was showing me pictures of Water Closet accumulating vast amounts of fat across his face, causing a near-deletion of his chin.

Felt a soreness in my throat. May be coming down with something again. I've also been having trouble getting up early in the morning, but that may be due to the fact that I go to sleep late- 12 or 1 AM. Then again, it could just be old age. Where did all my vitality go?

Cousins invited me to an Easter egg hunt in LA. My aunt also emailed the family saying they were going to have a celebration for my brother and me. What's the problem? I'm not going to be down there to partake in the festivities.

Wonder how Janey and Kaiser are doing with the med school application process.

meritocracy

I'm supposed to be starting my personal statement this week, so that I could send that out along with other information to the people doing my letters.
------
...I can see why people put off writing the personal statement until the last minute. Why medicine?!

How can someone's motivation be considered a better reason than others?

-----

So I've been lazy posting.

What was I going to reply to... OH YEAH EW to the staring at buttcrack, MattPatt!

Got to watch tons of mice perish today. Heads flying all over the place. 8 were slain to extract cortical and miscellaneous cells. Another 6 fell in battle to be sectioned in the cryostat.

How am I going to make myself a more competitive applicant... applications suck. I was talking to Drab a few weeks ago when I went to see his lab. Being a grad student, it seems he doesn't have to worry about all that paperwork anymore- the application, letters of recommendation, standardized test scores. All he has to do now is publish. Or die.

Less blogging, more practice problems. And membrane biochemistry.

sagacity

Made the WORST mistake of browsing through the Netflix watch instantly movies, and I chose none other than Made of Honor.

What the hell?!?!

I want my life back!!!!

Although it did make me think of losing the one by not doing anything about it. And there were also thoughts about flying back to Houston. Hmmmmm.

Another mistake I made was buying that bag of 10-packs of Dreyer's Dibs.

Exciting news, for me anyway, was scoring an 11 on my first Verbal practice test for the MCAT. I hope it'll increase by a... 13 by the time I take the actual test? It'll make things much easier to break 40+ if that's the case.

Annoying bitch sticking her suitcase into my leg space on the bus, me having to turn my legs to the right and awkwardly in to the other lady next to me.

Someone on the bus was wearing Pony shoes. I want... a pair of bright neon hi-tops.

Agh, I should get to MCAT-ing.

Upcoming birthdays... Kaiser, and Sophbox.

green zone

Underwear color of the day: grey.

Reading up on my test for physiology, mostly material about the heart. Moderate exercise supposedly reduces risk of heart disease/attacks by up to 55%. Is that enough motivation for me to start exercising? Somewhere else in the chapter, it describes that moderate walking daily could suffice. There's my answer.

There's nothing really fun about exercising though. I bet less people would exercise if the gym removed all the TVs from the rooms. What would people think about when they run on the treadmill? People would just be listening to the thuds caused by their thighs, previously muffled by the explosions from the show.

The more I read about homestasis in all organs of the body, the more I feel the human corpus is inherently unstable. If even one minor thing tilts the scale, something will go wrong in that organ system, causing a strain on any other one connected to it.

Bourne Trilogy. One of the few decent trilogies out there, up until the third movie.

People just like to assist you with any decisions regarding your future. All it takes is a simple e-mail. Why do people like helping each other so much? Hmm, I wonder if I should have approached my professors more often for advice.

orbitozygomatic

Hmm, it's probably better to be on the rising slope of the curve, with regards to significance achieved so far in one's lifetime. So maybe it's a good thing that I haven't done anything spectacular? Sounds counter-intuitive.

My mom asked me last night what I did in my research. Try explaining stem cell, neuroscience, and research in Chinese. In the end, I just told her I was working on stuff inside the head. Language barrier.

Chatted with FruitRoops yesterday. Seems as though he's found a future lab. And in addition to Drab, Janey, and me, FruitRoops will also have his own Danimals. Although Janey's Dannon most likely ranks lowest in a side-by-side yogurt comparison; he's not a scientist. Clearly not as cool.

Starred in my Google Reader is some article on how to make small talk, one the things I really don't care to do but is a necessary evil. It seems like their main advice is to think out loud or say what you think. That didn't seem to roll over well in this week's episode of House. Google. House. Making too many pop culture references in my posts.

Wasn't there a statistic somewhere that over 70% of the information posted by bloggers isn't original? Most of them simply link you to other sites/news that they've read throughout the day.

aquiline

My friend didn't match. Danimals asked me to comfort her, me being a friend and all.

Me? Comfort a woman?! Last time I checked, I was never one to feel sympathy. If they wanted tough, honest rationalizations, sure. But me console someone? Never.

Tried watching the show 24. When is Jack NOT being framed for being a traitor???

Finally classified my nose type. I have a Roman nose. I like the Greeks' more. Although I could be worse off- hawk, nubian, turn up, snub.

Lasagna- STILL al dente.

Off to study. Ciao.

béchamel

Would it be wrong to scare my PI if both of us happen to be in lab on the weekend?
--------
Fuck yes! FINALLY, the stupid reagents from Affymetrix have arrived and now my project can continue. Choo choo!

I want dim sum...

Tried making lasagna last night. It called for this weird Bechamel sauce, which just seemed like a cheap substitute for manicotti. I don't even know if it's healthier- you mix tons of butter with flour and dashes of nutmeg/salt/pepper, then spread it along with the meat mixture between pasta layers.

Results- I failed! The pasta was undercooked! UGH!!!

Also geeked out last night from finding out how to input Spanish vowels on a Mac. SO much easier than PC. Don't assume I'm promoting Apples because of this. Considering a move back to PC's after my MacBook breaks down.

Recent annoyance: the new Tylenol ads. It bothers me when friends yawn without covering their mouths. Nobody wants to see that far into your mouth! Now the new ads have really big heads yawning through their really huge mouths.

Hmm 4 PM. Time to look at more schools in the MSAR. Sigh.

Made the decision to apply to MSTP programs as well. Am I making the right choice? Staying in school for how much longer... forEVVVVEER!

gnt

So. ANGRY.

Asshole sitting next to me who didn't tend to his coffee on the bus. Left it sitting sideways between him and me. Once I got off the bus did I notice this wet spot on my sweatshirt. Luckily, I always come prepared with water and napkins.

Assholes wearing green, celebrating St. Patrick's Day in my Chinatown. Making a fucking ordeal crossing the street in herds to the next bar. I would like to invite all Alaskan gun-toting citizens to come to the city this day every year for target practice.

Fucking teenagers making out on the street AND in my bus on the ride home. Watching teenagers kiss is like watching birds sticking their beaks in each other's mouths. Awkwardly unnatural.

Fucking dim sum restaurants, catered to family/group-centric eating. Ostracism!

Got to meet DaeWee today. Huge baby. Not so interactive. Maybe because he's only 3 months old. I thought I was good with kids. Will have to work on him later at the retreat.

robert ludlum

Busy much this time of the month?

This crazy old man on the bus noticed the Wonder Bread Wonder sticker on my folder, and started shouting, "Wonder Bread! That stuff's enriched! I remember going to the factory as a kid..." Why do creepy old people like talking to me?!?!

My lab mates ordered KUNG PAO CHICKEN again for me for lunch. From that same nasty place 3 weeks ago!!! AGH!!!

Topics discussed over our lab meeting? Planes, guns, missiles, sailing, death. All in a day's work, right?

Daewoo's bringing his kid with him to the science retreat. I'll call him Dae-wee. Asian babies!!!

What's so conflicting about research... balance. Not about lab and life outside of it. It's a combination of... who asks the most provocative questions, who uses the best techniques, who efficiently makes use of current technology, who comes up with novel ideas, who invents new methods to observe the world. So many challenges... why do people go into it in the first place?

Posted on Twitter, but I suppose I could repost it here. Happy Birthday, Poorneel.

mecp2

Didn't feel so well yesterday afternoon, but I had agreed to stop by Drab's lab.

So off I went to Mission Bay. Security... not so tight over there either. All the security guy asks me is if I'm being expect. "Yes?" "Ok, here's your badge!"

Drab's lab. Definitely much wider space than mine. Woodwork- not as attractive as the black slate tabletops in my lab.

I was there, asking him about neuroscience graduate programs, about his lab, and then about his research. During our conversation came blaring a song I NEVER expected to come out of his laptop: No Doubt's "Hollaback Girl." Don't even ask.

For the longest time, I thought he was saying MSTP2, in reference to a protein that we was studying in the olfactory bulb. But I noticed a sticky note at his desk labeled MeCP2, a protein I was very familiar with 2 years ago, so I mentioned to Drab,"Oh, I used to work on this protein..."

Then Drab had immediately clarified to me that THAT was the gene he was working on in mice. NOT MSTP2, but MECP2.

UGH!!! Why do our lives have to be intertwined in our research as well?!?! This feels like that terrible movie with Sandra Bullock and Keanu Reeves (not Speed), where their lives are separated by time. The Lake House? Terrible!

After watching him take care of some postnatal mouse pups, he started getting hungry, so I unwillingly agreed to accompany him to one of the cheap restaurants right by his lab. The Pub. Definitely sounds like something Drab would frequent.

Chicken pesto sandwich. $4.50. Considering that the places Drab chooses leads to unfavorable reactions in my stomach, and given the circumstances that I've been starving all day still suffering from food poisoning, it must have been the best time to have dinner with Drab. The inside of the right side of my mouth was hurting from sores along the cheek as well as the tongue, so it was difficult chewing things on the left side of my mouth.

What did I learn about Drab at dinner... our labs seem to operate differently. It seemed as though he never goes out to have lunch/dinner with his Greek lab mates, and it didn't seem as though they were that close, even though his lab membership is just as tiny as mine. Very peculiar to me because my lab mates always like having lunch together, even waiting on me as I type away at my computer. "You coming?" "ummm.... sure!"

Aside: just offered Danimals a can of Monster Energy drink I picked up from school because the truck parked there was giving them away. He looked tired, but SO happy.

Dinner with Drab: found out about him having not such a grand birthday, something I could relate to a year ago, and also about him being antisocial, something I find hard to believe. He finds social scenes cumbersome and prefers eating by himself whether it be lunch or dinner. Why does he say all the right things at the wrong time? Still, I'm a little bit skeptical about the antisocial part, as he purposefully puts himself into situations that involve interactions with multiple personalities, e.g., housewarming parties, grad student parties, snowboarding trips with friends. Another thing to have in common with Drab, ugh.

Possible explanations for us leading two different lives: he's more popular, or I have a lower tolerance for the public. First rationale: he naturally draws in more crowds, which basically sucks for him. Second rationale: I'm stuck within the same bunch of people, yet get annoyed more easily and will voluntarily remove myself from the scene if I find it intolerable. Only problem with this scenario is if I bummed a ride from a friend and can't leave until he/she is tired of the social scene.

This post bores me. Back to MCAT studying, which is equally as boring if not more so. Already started gathering data about MSTP, research programs from various associates. Perhaps Teh Ben Shields will offer good recommendations for school?

greco

Guess I was nauseous. Two possible conclusions- NaN3, or the salad from lunch (vegetarian food UGH!!!!).

Halfway back to my apartment from the bus stop, I was constantly spitting out the saliva that kept building up inside my mouth, which was a good indicator that things were going to come up.

Picked a part of the sidewalk that nobody would walk across, and threw up a little. Ok, so I thought that would be all of it.

Got to the middle of the road, could no longer hold things down before reaching my bathroom inside my apartment. Splatter. It was very awkward tilting forward while sticking my butt out so that none of the vomit would reach my shoes. It was even more awkward noticing a girl who was walking a couple feet behind me. She ended up crossing the street to avoid my entrails.

Back in my apartment, looked down at my clothing. Pieces of food all over my left shoe and left jean leg. I could notice bits of lettuce upon closer inspection.

Fuck you sodium azide! Fuck you salad! Fuck you caffeine free diet coke! UGHHH!

meninas

HAHA thanks Yoshi. I'm glad somebody's satisfied by other people's boredom.

Accidentally opened up 20% NaN3 out of the hood in lab today. Haven't been feeling so well since then. Ohhhh....

Rooming with Benihana for this science research retreat in April. Daewoo's also bringing his baby boy!

I think I've reached that point in a relationship where paranoia becomes rampant, with regard to my lab mates. Where are they? Why aren't they here?! What are they doing without me? When did I become so clingy/needy?

Staying in lab until 8:30/9 tonight. Guess I'll visit Drab tomorrow night? Immunostaining slides right now- so fucking excited!

Clare's been planning to have a Rice peeps gathering. He probably shouldn't plan something this weekend or next since Drab's going off to Thailand, sexing it up with the trannies at night.

Laying my head down at my station because of the sodium azide nausea... I see my Gaara keychain also laying sideways. Initially in the cartoon, he was only capable of loving himself, which was why he happened to be my favorite character, bearing a strong resemblance to my attitudes towards others. However, he's become soft in the series, protecting and caring about others. How disappointing...

Oh right, Nilk visited this weekend. I should blog about that, as well as hanging out with Clare on Saturday. Later.

Caffeine free diet coke = UGH! Who drinks this shit?! The night is just full of disappointments. All of the gold coke cans were facing towards the back of the vending machine, so I hoped that they would be simply caffeine free cokes. Wrong. And then there lay a 2-inch long cockroach next to the water fountain. How can a hospital have such low standards for sanitary conditions???

padua

Browsing through parts of the AMCAS application. Maybe my life tells a less boring story than I initially thought?

If information is power, and money is power, and the power is yours, then what exactly belongs to you: information, or money?

Going to try making Burmese chicken tonight, partly because I was too lazy to go out to Chinatown for groceries this afternoon.

My MCAT studying has waned, most likely due to the fact that my grades in my classes have declined. Focus too much on one thing, and everything else fails in quality. The only perfect solution I see to putting equivalent effort into everything is to NEVER sleep. Mice (or was it rats?) die after 10 days of no sleep. That factoid might need confirmation. Would I die if I tried to stay awake for that long?

Doctors are more likely to contemplate suicide.

Update on the Burmese chicken: how can a recipe call for so many fucking spices and still end up bland?!

gourmand syndrome

So here I am waiting for Clare, to see if he'll actually pick me up to ride over to Berkeley and met up with Nilk.

Not that I really mind if he picks me up or not, but in the meantime I busy myself by putting on this avocado and oatmeal clay mask that I found in my bathroom.

Never have I felt so much like a woman.

WHY do women do this to themselves?!

As this layer of clay has begun drying up, my face feels tighter and tighter, as if someone were pulling it off from both sides. My god this is painful!

Too lazy to write the rest of this blog properly, so I'll just lay my thoughts down.

Want to babysit my PI's kids.

Ideal wife: likes eating/cooking the same food as me (basically everything). Narrowed it down to either Asian or black women.

juugyouin

NOTHING beats the taste of QIAshredder-treated yogurt dots. Mmm...

Lazy afternoon. Back in this weird funk.

Thai food for Journal Club!

Do people regularly keep up with porn like other people keep up with the news? Have you seen the stuff they put out these days?? People torturing each other, machines pummeling women down under, guys peeing in girls' mouths. So if people get rid of boredom using sex, this seems to be the answer to those who have gotten bored with conventional sexual practice.

Expecting a crazy weekend up ahead. Nilk will be joining us Ricers in the Yay Area, where I will have to possibly deal with Drab, Leigh-Ugh, Clare, and Jack in the Box all in one gathering.

Watchmen, and then drinking? Sounds like a bad idea when food isn't involved... the things I do to appease people.

holodeck

Hmm, I guess I forgot to post yesterday? Where did the time go...

Someone was drinking coffee out of a Baylor College of Medicine mug in my Membrane Biochemistry class this morning. Is it a sign? It certainly didn't open up my life, that's for sure.

It went into making more congee, more failing at trying to make tender salty pork. Sigh.

So the internal scab I obtained from getting my thumb caught in the mouse trap during Christmas is now slowly moving up under my thumb nail. Whereas it used to be right near my cuticle, it's now about halfway up towards the nail region. Is the nail just growing, or is the scab being pushed underneath?

My test tomorrow concerns PV = nRT. It's been so long since I've studied chemistry. Can't believe I'm taking this class to satisfy premed prerequisites...

Revelation today in lab: my Danimals' father has the same music taste as me. Moreover, my PI's dad also used to have pinup posters of Tina Turner and Neil Diamond in his house. AHHHH!!!

malteser

New goal in lab: to find as many secret places as I can to hide/stash food.

Considerations: Used pipette tip boxes, emptied Qiagen boxes, behind magazines/binders.

UGH, how can it be hard to make really soft pork meat?? The pork isn't behaving the way I want it to.

This morning, on the bus up 19th Ave, there was this boy who sat about 8 seats in front of me, closely cropped, soft, blonde-ish brown hair. From the back, I was reminded of B－米, but once he turned to the side, I saw his face and had to throw up in the seat next to me.

Flipping through my physiology book, and nothing seems as interesting as the neural system, in my point of view. If I had a soul, it would sit in my head, not my heart.

Someone threw a water bottle into one of the urinals on the ground floor bathroom at the hospital. How lazy can one be?!

Music list of the moment deals mainly with songs that would be played in Night at the Roxbury. "I talk talk, I talk to you, in the night in your dream, of love so true."

orthorexia

Looked in my closet today- I STILL have Yoshi's stuffed owl, the brown one with the Rice shirt on it. It's buddying up with my Drab yeast doll and my rabbit inside my dusty closet.

Absinthe for brunch with Clare and his high school friends. Apparently we went there because this place had a worker who was in the most recent season of Top Chef? She didn't win though, so I was confused as to why we would go to a loser's restaurant. Oh well.

I had two types of oysters first... Stingray and Beau Soleil. Stingray, not so great. Not spicy enough, too tiny, lacked punch. Beau Soleil, better than the first. A decent size, tasted smooth, cold, great sprinkled with lemon juice. B.

Main course: Breakfast sandwich. Includes fried duck egg, Raclette (?), andouille sausage, and griddled brioche. Crispy, buttery, toasted bread, a little too much oil though. Sausage was crispy and packed with enough spices. The duck egg was also cooked well, in that the egg yolk was still uncooked, but the egg white surrounding it was well done. The egg yolk was also sturdy enough to where even if I poked once into it, the yolk didn't spill all over my sandwich or plate. The salad that came with it on the side was alright. I don't really like arugula because of it's bittery flavor, and it came mixed with balsamic vinegar and some olive oil as dressing. B+.

Dessert: biggest mistake of my brunch, but I ordered it anyway because the sandwich was tiny. Buttermilk panna cotta. Wanted to try it because it had all sorts of tangy stuff and had never eaten it before. Lemon gelee on top, encasing lemon thyme tulle in a conical glass, with huckleberry compote spread on top. Lemon gelee was too sour, compote was too tart (probably out of season?), and the tulle was innocuous. Nothing impressed me about this dessert except for the glass vessel in which it sat. C-.

Every time I see Clare's friend, she always appears attractive, at least to me. Last time she had her hair up, but here she was just as pretty, also wearing the same white jacket from last time we met. Recessed eyes, defined nose bridge, adequately proportioned lips, quirky outfit, flattering figure. I had to force myself to maintain eye contact because the top of her shirt was unbuttoned, and I found my gaze meandering downward every couple of minutes. Nice teeth too. Ew, why am I interested in one of Clare's high school friends??

Clare ended up dropping me off on Clement, where I managed to find the right pork meat (on the spine), preserved pickled vegetables, preserved duck egg, spring onions, ginger, garlic, and Chinese sausage. Except for the sausage, most of it is going into the congee I'm preparing for my sick lab mate and his wife/kid.

Off to study. Adieu.