doublecross

Dream: driving w/ Yoshi, Klean, wheelchair lady.
Yoshi was in the driver's seat, with Klean in the passenger side. We drove to some diner, where I was sitting across from the wheelchair lady. This lady always frequents the many workshops, seminars, and journal clubs that the Stem Cell department hosts. For a while, the police scared her away, but alas she has reared her ugly head again in last week's journal club. I wonder why the security on campus can't get her to leave. That's the one advantage of being an old fragile lady pushing around a wheelchair everywhere- it presses on people's sympathy button, so they can't help saying no to her.

Expired chocolate milk.
Has just as bad of a reaction as drinking expired regular milk! I made the mistake of thinking chocolate milk wouldn't go bad as quickly as whole milk. It didn't look like it had swirls when I looked through the opening of the carton. So wrong.

R&D.
He's seems different as of late. So much more polite with the "Thank you" and the "Sorry." I think I tried to tell him Friday night that even though he's joking about being confident/arrogant, if you joke long enough, people will start to believe you possess that quality (character flaw). Oh right... this was in response to several humble comments he made throughout the night as I waited for him to finish his qPCR plate so that I could help him learn how to run the machine. What's the problem with this? That I find it more difficult to hate him when he acts like this; he might even be likable to a degree. A very minuscule degree.

Tonight, I went back to lab to pick up my backpack while also taking care of some lab purchases. He came in again after his run, wearing that awful lime green shirt of his. It is Saint Patrick's Day, and he is half Irish, so I asked him if he were planning to go out and have fun tonight. Besides, he mentioned yesterday that every year he's always had something that prevented him from enjoying this "holiday." This year, it was work- he volunteered to sub for Mant since she was leaving for Hawaii. By volunteer, I meant I moved him up on the lab presentation schedule while pushing Mant down. So it was partially my responsibility that he's had to perform more work this week to collect some data for his lab meeting. It'll probably end up being a good thing, since he's found something interesting with his data.

Oh whoops digression. I asked him if he were going out tonight to try to celebrate some part of St. Patty's Day. He said," Yeah," but with little excitement in his voice. He seemed reluctant in going out, because he was so tired. He told me that he usually would be excited about going out, so long as he was not exhausted to the point where he couldn't enjoy himself. I wonder if he were doing it just to be nice to his friend, our other lab mate, so that he wouldn't attend a party alone. From my perspective, I don't think he's enjoyed any of the parties he's attended in the past month. Why does he keep going if he isn't having fun?

Is that what being a friend is? Doing things that you don't want to do, so that someone else can be happy? I don't know if I like the sound of that... to me, being a friend would be telling him that a particular jacket of his is too small for him because it makes him look bottom-heavy.

Ugh, I stayed in lab until midnight helping him out. He was getting angry at some point because his plate was stuck to the cooling block. This isn't the first time that I've stayed in lab late just to help him, even though I learn more about him at those odd hours for some reason. Maybe I just want to figure out who he really is before I leave. Maybe that's it. He doesn't like to talk much about his private life; maybe he prefers it that way. But he's at least told me some things about his family and his childhood. Maybe that's enough.

Blegh, it's late. Time to stop writing.

greek yoghurt

8th dream about R&D.

Didn't happen today, but occurred a while back. I was too embarrassed to write about it.

Basically, the premise was that he approached me, inching closer and closer.

I stood there, paralyzed, just waiting and hoping he wouldn't be doing what I thought he would try to do.

He kissed me. Worst part was that I didn't do anything to pull away.

BLEGH!