trovarsi

Gay Pride yesterday. Meh. Creepy old men, as usual.

Hung out with Hesse, haven't seen him in a while. Supposedly the last time we saw each other was last year's gay pride.

Didn't run into Carl's Jr. last night. For some reason, Clare and Drab decided to go to the Castro after their concert in Berkeley.

Ate at Squat and Gobble with Hesse and his friends, had a drink there. Tasted more like grapefruit than alcohol. Had a tequila shot at Twin Peaks, then a long island iced tea, sipped other people's drinks throughout the rest of the night. Dancing to heavy bass techno remixes. Oh yeah, and a gay porn shop. Meh.

Sat around the Safeway at Church until Clare and Drab arrived. Clare had a pimple at the end of his nose- stress from his tequila project? Drab had a cold sore on the side of his mouth. We were sitting on a couch at one of his friend's place, I didn't feel like saying anything, and he didn't have anything left to say, so he just made this weird smile at me. Awkward moment. How to deal with this boy, I have no idea. I find myself being exhausted from having to instigate and/or maintain a running conversation with friends. Clare was sitting next to me on the couch, and I try to talk about my work/research/classes/applications since that's all I've been doing as of late but he found it boring. Then I try to think of something else to talk about but get annoyed with the process so I just don't bother to talk and stop the conversation from continuing. Really don't know why I get tired of people so easily. Clare also gave me incorrect facts about the N-owl running by Dolores at the East Portal station. I was standing at the stop for about 20 minutes before some homeless guy with a dog walks by to pick up trash and tells me that the train stopped running, that I would have to go up to Haight to catch the N-Owl.

Also find myself becoming numb to the events going on with friends' lives. Maybe I've stopped caring? Who knows. Or maybe I'm just bored with their lives. Either people are just working, or they're researching. Then my cynical rationalization is that since they're so bored from their careers, they have to start discussing current events or other miscellaneous information that can easily be picked up from surfing the internet. Since it's that easy, it seems unnecessary having to hear that coming out of friend's mouths when I can just directly access the secondary source later. Perhaps this being friendly thing just isn't me, or maybe I'm tired of compromising. A more perplexing concept for me is what exactly can bind friends together if your interests are vastly different. That is, can two people remain as friends if they have nothing in common? I used to think it was a good thing to get to know people with varying personalities, unique things that they can be passionate about. My current opinion about this possibility is leaning towards doubt.

Feeling very out of touch with reality, what with my grandfather, and the confirmation of my aunt's breast cancer. She now has to wait a few months for additional tests before proceeding with the chemotherapy, followed by surgery after the tumor shrinks. There's also the issue of my cousins having to pick up the work now in order to pay for rent, insurance, car payments, college tuition, and their mom's medical expenses.

Today Yama gave me a note with an emergency contact in case anything happens to him. Strange receiving a note like this from a roommate. Weird to be living with a roommate in which imminent death is an issue.

Received a postcard from Rome. Nice to hear what Lizbian's been up to. Also received a postcard from Kaiser. Always surprising having to see what she'll write and which card she'll send. I'm surprised she sends me postcards from wherever she goes. France, Vietnam, Singapore, etc.

Hmm even blogging, trying to express my thoughts is getting exhausting. I'm out.