朋友

When acquaintances disappoint you, it's no big deal. So is it better then to just downgrade everyone to that level of association?

A guide through the mental processes leading up to yesterday:

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Sunday: dinner with Drab, Clare, Hesse, Leigh-Ugh. It's close to my birthday. Oh, could it be a surprise birthday dinner? No.

Monday: Neuro test. Lack of sleep.

Tuesday: My birthday. E-cards from Janey, my aunt, birthday cards from family, text message from Nants; even my brother manages to remember. The other half were Facebook messages from people that I either never talked to in high school or haven't talked to in years. Even Maury, who doesn't use Facebook, remembered and texted me. Drab texted me. About the Olympic protests. No mention of my birthday. Years given to engrain the memory of one day into one's head; days to remember when the protests are occurring. Protest trumps birthday. Let me ask you- which should be easier to remember, given the amount of time to learn only 2 digits in either case?
The surprise? Not hearing from the people that you think would remember. Normally I would shrug this off because I could care less about a birthday party, and I'm not the type of person to arrange a party/dinner for myself just to selfishly garner attention and gifts. BUT the week continued. No invitations to dinner, people starting to give late notices. How did I spend my birthday? A euphemism would be that I caught up on sleep.

Wednesday: A couple people, cousins, one day late. Lack of sleep accumulates.

Thursday: My mother calls to tell me that she forgot my birthday. She asks if I'm mad. Leigh-Ugh sent me a message, with promises of food/pizza. That actually did make me feel somewhat better.

Friday: A combination of factors. First was the lack of sleep due to studying for an exam. Second was taking the exam and then having to sit through the remaining classes in the day. Third was that my favorite Banh Mi place raised the prices of their sandwiches by a quarter. The final catalyst was reading Drab's comment on my Facebook wall. Even if it were intended as a joke, after what has happened earlier this week, I reacted adversely. Mental thoughts at that moment: "...almost completely forgot"- future neuroscientist, who studies the brain- a repository for memory- can't remember two digits, one being a common multiple of the other. "i have a present for you. a book on mahjong."- future neuroscientist, who recently won an NSF grant, decides to spend that money on a keg to get drunk, an almost daily occurrence, rather than to buy anything for something that happens once a year. Oh yeah, and repackaging the gift, given for no specific reason from an earlier week, as a birthday present to save money. Classy.
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That something pent up that I mentioned in an earlier post? So what little emotion I had left in me, coupled with the exhaustion and excess water I drank earlier in the day, had no place else to go except out my eyeballs. For hours. I was finally able to shut off the faucets by taking a nap. I woke up to do some homework, went to bed by 3, but woke up this morning with a headache. The weather hasn't helped either- oddly warm and dry today.